Let’s get real for a moment.

In a world of curated Instagram stories and surface-level small talk, authentic connection feels like a rare treasure relegated to sending risky memes or 3-person group chats.

But that’s not enough, is it?

Genuine human connection is what we need.

I used to think vulnerability was a weakness. Growing up in a culture that valued perfection and performance, I learned to wear my “everything is fine” mask like a pro.

Whether it’s work, relationships, or social media, we’ve become experts at presenting a polished version of ourselves.

But here’s the truth: real connection happens when we drop the act. This is where true emotional healing begins.
Vulnerability isn’t about oversharing or emotional dumping. (Honestly – can we stop saying someone was “trauma dumping” when they were just sharing an experience? Sharing is good!!)

Listening isn’t about waiting for your turn to speak. It’s about just listening. Not thinking of the next thing to say. Listening. Trying to understand. What are they feeling? Why are they saying what they’re saying? If you have thoughts, they center the speaker. When someone shares their story, your job is to listen – not solve, not minimize, just witness.

We live in a hyper-animus society (one driven by the ‘male’ energy of the collective spirit). The animus loves competition and winning. Even people who think they are not competetive, in fact, are driven largely by competition.

We’ve all fallen into the trap of turning conversations into suffering Olympics. “Oh, you think that’s hard? Let me tell you about MY week…” Instead, try recognizing our shared humanity. Your struggle is valid. My struggle is valid. We’re in this together. Everything is literally terrible. (JOKING!)

Being vulnerable takes serious courage.

It means risking rejection, sitting with discomfort, and showing up authentically even when it’s scary.

But the alternative? Loneliness dressed up as safety. This is where holistic mental health practices truly make a difference.

Pro tip: Start small. You don’t have to bare your entire soul immediately. Maybe it’s admitting you’re having a tough day. Maybe it’s acknowledging when something feels hard. These tiny moments of realness create bridges between people.

A personal example: After leaving my Mormon community, I felt incredibly isolated. But by sharing my journey – not as a dramatic performance, but as a genuine exploration of spiritual healing – I discovered entire communities of people who had similar experiences.

Connection isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present and practicing emotional healing techniques that work for you.
Remember: Your messy, complicated, beautiful self is worthy of deep, meaningful relationships. You don’t need to earn them. You simply need to show up for your healing journey and keep trying stuff.